


Only Us (Part 1)

by PrincessMuk



Series: Only Us [1]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Absent Parents, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Bisexual Male Character, Divorce, Don't kill me please, F/M, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I told you it's an open ending, Long, Male-Female Friendship, Oops, Pining, Platonic Relationships, Post-Good For You, Slow Burn, Two Sides to Every Story, aaaand then there's ..., evan is kind of the villain, friends to best friends?, just a warning the ending isn't going to be satisfying, life will go on, platonic kissing?, things will happen after this story, to lovers???, unless the plot needs it, well . . . hinted anyways
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-14 13:45:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13009095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessMuk/pseuds/PrincessMuk
Summary: Jared didn't expect to be this hurt by Evan's lies. Alana didn't expect for her life to get worse than it already was. Who knew that in just one week, everything would change?(AKA Jared and Alana being mutually supporitve after Evan screws them both over.)(I swear I don't hate Evan. He's a really good character.)(Oh, and the ending of Part 1 will leave you ... sad? Not really? Who knows ... )





	1. Good For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared texts Alana after being screwed over by Evan and makes a confession.

Jared let out a heavy sigh as he sat on his firm bed, a hand running through his hair. He wiped his wet, blue eyes with his arm, picking up his phone in an attempt to distract himself. He'd just finished writing a very long hate e-mail to Evan, and he'd made sure to leave out nothing. Not a single curse wasn't used on that page. Evan had it coming, anyway. He'd had it coming for a long time. Connor's death really had been the best thing to happen to Evan. And how could he just say those things? That Jared wouldn't dare tell anyone about what he'd helped him do? That he didn't have any friends? He had friends . . . Evan just wasn't one of them. Not anymore. Jared had other friends beside him, and he was going to spend all of his precious time with _them_ now, not Evan. Screw Evan. Screw everyone. Screw life.

Jared clicked his messaging app, noticing the little red two in the corner. Alana had texted him a few hours ago: _Hey Jared. Evan's emails just aren't adding up anymore... do you think they're fake?_ And another: _I'm going to confront him. Ttyl._

Jared sighed again. Of  _course_ they were fake. He should know, he'd helped Evan make them, after all. That had been a mistake. One of many. Why did this have to happen to him? Why couldn't everything just be normal for once? Why were life's surprises for him always the bad kind? Couldn't something good happen to him, like, ever? He'd never had a girlfriend. (Sure, he'd kissed a girl once, but she'd used it against him so he would do her geometry homework ... ) He'd never come close to actually doing it, so long as what he made fun of Evan for didn't count ... And why couldn't his parents ever be home? Or support him, maybe? They seemed to care more about Heidi's son than their own.

Jared needed someone to talk to about all of this. But what could he do? Nobody knew about this, nobody besides ... Jared paused, Alana's name seeming to shine off his phone screen. She was the obvious choice, now that he thought about it. Why not. Why not text her? Jared was sure she'd at least skim over the texts. He just needed to vent. That e-mail to Evan wasn't enough. He needed an actual human being to talk to.

**To: Alana Beck**

**From: Insanely Cool Jared Kleinman (me)  
**

_> hey. about evan ... he sort of screwed me over. were not friends anymore. not that we ever were. hes a loser. anyways he sucks and i_ _hate his guts >:( he will probably get scholarships and shit bc of all this and where do we stand? all alone with just the connor project._

Jared had to admit, it was a little ... salty. Alana probably wouldn't care. Or she'd think he was being a bigger loser than Evan. But he didn't care anymore, he just needed to get it out there. He was too upset to care, anyway.

* * *

Alana was in a bad mood, to say the least. Her fury was something she could not even begin to explain. The way Evan had treated her? Unforgivable.  At least she'd had the opportunity to give him a piece of her mind. How could he just leave her and Jared behind like this? Sure, she wasn't Evan's best friend or anything, but it seemed like he was getting everything while all she could do was run a website and hope they could raise enough money for their project. Were they even helping people? She hoped so. If the trending hashtag was the judge, then she'd say they were. But did it actually help?

Alana's expression softened a bit as she saw the notification pop up on her phone telling her that Jared had texted. However, it turned sour once again as she read it. It seemed like she wasn't the only one mad at Evan. Ignoring the terrible grammar Jared usually texted with, Alana began to write a response.

**To: Jared (from Connor Project)**

**From: Alana Beck**

  _> That really sucks. I'm kind of mad at him, too._

Alana paused.

_> Do you think The Connor Project is actually helping people? _

The reply was almost instant.

**To: Alana Beck**

**From: Jared (from Connor Project)**

_> i hope it is  
_

Alana hoped so, too. But what if it wasn't? What if this was all for nothing? Or what if her suspicions were right, and Evan really was making all of this up? Would that make her part of a terrible lie that would haunt her forever? Or maybe she'd just be screwed over again. She wasn't sure.

"Alana! Go to bed!" her mother yelled from the other room.

Alana sighed, going to turn off her light. "I am." She sat back down on her bed, folding down her laptop and texting Jared a quick goodbye and goodnight. This was too much to deal with all in one night. She'd figure it out in the morning, when she was refreshed and energized. Maybe then she'd be able to figure all of this out. As Alana pulled her covers over herself, not even bothing to put on pajamas, she could only hope things would get better. She wanted to believe so badly that Evan was being completely truthful about all of this, and that she was just overthinking it. Evan and Connor were friends. That was a fact . . . right?

Alana's phone buzzed. Jared. He must be saying goodnight back. Then another buzz. Why two texts? Alana picked up her phone, brows furrowed.

**To: Alana Beck**

**From: Jared (from Connor Project)**

_> goodnight_

_> wait_

_> can you talk on the phone for like two minutes?_

_> please? itll be quick_

Alana rubbed her temples before she replied.

**To: Jared (from Connor Project)**

**From: Alana Beck**

_> Fine. Two minutes.  
_

Her mother was going to kill her for not being asleep. She had tests to study for, after all. Friends were no excuse for avoiding schoolwork.

Alana answered the phone the moment it began rining, silently cursing for forgetting to turn the ringer off. "What is it?"

* * *

Jared bit his lip as he heard Alana answer his call, her dry tone doing nothing to help. He'd decided that though he was angry, and he really needed to vent, he couldn't sell Evan out completely, nobody would believe him. He barely knew what was going on. But he couldn't just let Alana go on thinking that those emails -- the ones they were using to help spread awareness for their project -- were fake. Not when she was already doubting Evan. He wasn't going to say he helped, of course, but he could still tell her they were fake.

"The emails . . . " Jared started.

"What about them?"

"They're . . . they're fake?" Jared said it more like a question than a confession. Or maybe his voice was just betraying him. Again.

" . . . what?"

"The emails are fake. Evan made the emails up." Jared repeated. Oh god. What was he thinking? What had he gotten himself into? This was stupid. Insanely stupid. Incredibly, undoubtibly, totally stupid. Why was he confessing like this? To make Alana feel better? To get it off his chest? What the hell was he thinking? Jared had never regretted something so much. He was internally cursing himself out. Why did he think this was a good idea???

"And you know this . . . how?" Alana asked after a moment, bringing Jared out of his thoughts.

"I, uh . . . I helped?" Jared gulped.

"Wow. Alright. Screw you. You suck."

"No, wait, I can explain, I just . . . he needed help." Jared attemped to fix the situation he had just created. What was he doing?!

"Yes, great. I don't really care, Jared." Alana stated. "That's a terrible thing to do."

"I know, I just . . . it wasn't supposed to go this far, you know? I was only showing him how to backdate stuff, and . . . it wasn't my fault." Was it his fault? No, this was Evan's fault. It was Evan's fault for not having the balls to tell the Murphy's the truth about Connor. Jared had only been dragged into it. But now? It was too much. Jared just couldn't handle helping Evan anymore, and after he betrayed him like this . . . No, this couldn't possible be his fault.

"I don't care whose fault it is, Jared. You helped. Goodbye." And with that, Jared heard the all too familair beeping noise that signaled being hung up on. Ouch.

But really, what had he expected? He shouldn't have even thought Alana would understand. She hadn't made the mistake of getting close to Evan. And yet . . . Jared couldn't help but feel anxious about it all. Maybe he wasn't completely in the right. Maybe . . . maybe he even felt a little guilt. Evan’s words echoed in his mind. He was a loser. A friendless loser ... but what was he supposed to do now?

Sleep, he supposed. Tomorrow he could try and work things out with Alana. If he couldn’t, then ... he really would be friendless.

He really did suck, didn’t he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmmmmm shit is gonna go down, just you wait.


	2. Apologies Aren’t Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared confronts Alana before school to apologize. Alana, however, is still angry. What’s going to happen? And what does Evan want?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alana and Evan’s meeting is based off an actual scene in the musical but DOES NOT follow the script exactly. It’s fairly accurate, but I took some creative liberties.

Jared awoke to the rising sun filtering in through his window (and blinding him a bit), showing ff the dust particles foating through the air, and forcing him to get up and get ready. He hadn’t gotten much sleep, but that was to be expected after the night he'd had. Today he had a job to do: talk to Alana and convince her he wasn’t a huge jerk. Sounded easy enough, right?

Jared sure hoped so.

After combing his hair and putting on a clean shirt, Jared grabbed his bag and walked out to his car. He arrived at school in mere minutes, somehow getting a good parking spot, and that was exactly when he spotted her.

Alana was standing outside texting furiously on her phone, a stack of yellow papers under her arm. She turned her phone off and shoved it in her purse, looking around for a moment. She plastered on a smile, yelling out to students passing by as she gestured the papers towards them. They were no doubt about the Connor Project.

Jared let out a deep breath before he got out of his car and made his way towards Alana. It was now or never. Alana frowned as he approached. She handed him half the stack without a word, a small frown threatening to break her fake grin if he messed up.

After a minute or so of passing out just _one_ piece of paper (nobody cared . . . why were they even doing this?) Jared cleared his throat. “A-alana—“

”I don’t want to talk to you,” Alana said through her smile, not even looking at him.

”Please, I—“

”Stop talking. You already explained yourself.”

”No, I didn’t, I . . . Alana, it was a mistake. Evan . . . Evan is just so easy to help, you know? With his pathetic personality and anxiety and shit . . . it wasn’t supposed to go this far.” Jared sighed, giving a small smile as another student took a paper, looking at it curiously. Jared waved as they walked away. “Just . . . I feel bad.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that you helped,” Alana stated, her tone having a terrible bite to it.

”Please, I know this sucks, I . . . Evan hurt me, too.” 

Alana seemed to stop for a second, then she finally looked at Jared. He wished she hadn’t. Her piecring gaze was enough to kill him right then and there. “Evan did something terrible, and he dragged me with him. But don’t you think I’m mad at you, too? You _helped_ him.”

”I . . . “ she was right, he supposed. But how could he explain to her that he couldn’t lose her, too? Wow, wait, that was really cliche. Jared just . . . didn’t want to lose another friend. His _only_ friend, now. Evan had forgotten him, left him in the dust, even after all he’d done to help . . . and now because of what he’d done, Alana was going to hate him, too.

”That’s what I thought,” Alana crossed her arms, and the bell rang through the speakers behind them. “Goodbye.” Alana turned and walked away, leaving Jared standing pathetically on the pavement with half a stack of stupid Connor Project papers in his arms. He let them go, the wind carrying them to pollute the stupid planet some more.

Damn it.

* * *

 

Alana huffed as she left her third period, holding her binder and notebooks close to her chest. Why couldn’t this day just be over already? 

“Alana!” A voice called from behind her.

Alana kept walking, “I don’t want to talk right now, Jared.”

”No, it’s, it’s Evan!”

Even worse. She’d rather talk to Jared, actually. At least he was sort of a victim in this . . . No, she was mad at him. He didn’t get her sympathy. 

“Alana, please!” Evan called, and she turned around.

”What?!” She asked, scowling.

”I-I needed to talk to you, about the Connor Project.” He began sheepishly.

“Evan, I don’t think you and Connor were really friends.” Alana said. There it was, plain and simple. She didn’t think he’d understood exactly why she was mad yesterday, so this was the perfect time.

”W-what?” Evan froze.

”Nobody ever saw you two together, he didn’t seem like he was that depressed, frankly, and . . . “ Alana remembered what Jared had told her last night, “it’s so easy to backdate emails!” She stomped, binders closer to her chest now.

”I . . . “ Evan bit his lip. “I have proof!”

”Proof?” Alana raised a brow. If he had proof, why did he need to write fake emails?

”L-look, see!” Evan handed Alana a worn, crumpled piece of paper. 

Alana read the paper quickly. Holy shit. This was Connor’s note. _Connor’s. Note._  

“We have to share this!” Alana held the paper up like baby Simba, smiling brightly. This was what they had been looking for. This was the way she could make the Connor Project _mean_ something. Reach people. She didn’t care about the emails anymore, this was way bigger. This was _real_.

”W-wait, no, you can’t, I—“ Evan stuttered.

”This is exactly what people need to see!” Alana brought the paper down, getting out her phone. “This is perfect! I’ll put it online right now,” Alana said, already beginning to scan it into a new post on the website.

”N-no . . . “ he took a step forward.

Alana sighed. “Evan, it’s fine. This is what people need to see. Don’t you want to help?”

”Y-yes, but . . . “

”Great. See you, I guess.” With that, Alana walked off, her mind racing as she thought of how much this would help everyone. This was going to be the best day of her life.

Sure, she was still angry with Jared and Evan . . . especially Evan, but she didn’t really care. This was so much more important. She didn’t have time to be angry, she could only spread the information until it reached every corner of the internet, letting light shine into the darkness. This letter would bring more attention to the Connor Project. She could help people.

No more feeling alone. Only helping people. Making their voices heard. That’s what was important here.

Alana figured the emails must have been real after all, how else could Evan have Connor's note if they weren't friends? Jared must have just been jealous or something, right? That's why he lied about them being fake. That wasn't _nearly_ as bad as backdating emails, but it was still sort of a mean thing to do. But Alana could forgive him later, right now she had a post to make public.

As long as she was helping people with The Connor Project, what could go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst is almost over :) (not really lol)


End file.
